Vaginal Dryness
Dra. Charley Ferrer
Vaginal dryness is one of those embarrassing
female problems we typically don’t speak of and often
don’t even share with our closest friend. Some women
are even too embarrassed to speak of it with their physicians
until the situation becomes intolerable and too painful
to continue overlooking. As women, we’re used to taking
care of everyone else at the detriment of our own health.
Often, we’re so far at the bottom of our priorities
list, we do a disservice to our bodies and suffer needlessly.
It’s estimated that approximately
80% of perimenopausal women (women in their 30’s and
up) experience vaginal dryness. This percentage is higher
for post menopausal women. Vaginal dryness is caused by
low or declining estrogen levels in a woman’s body
which leads to a thinning and drying of the vaginal walls.
Vaginal dryness can range from minor discomfort to debilitating
pain, if left untreated. It goes without saying that vaginal
dryness causes pain during intercourse contributing to the
reasons women avoid sex which then spirals into loss of
libido and low sexual desire. Let’s face it, why have
sex when it merely causes pain. Though vaginal dryness is
often a symptom experienced by women in their 30’s
and up, women of any age who have had a hysterectomy, are
breastfeeding, or have diabetes can also experience it as
well.
Vaginal dryness occurs when the Bartholin’s
glands which produce the lubrication needed for intercourse
are not functioning properly. These glands are located
along your vaginal lips and during stimulation secrete a
thicker lubricant which allows for smooth insertion of your
partner’s penis, finger, or even an adult sex toy
such as a dildo or vibrator. This lubricant has a natural
musky smell, often referred to as the “smell of sex”
which attracts your mate and let’s him know you’re
getting excited.
Don’t think for a second that vaginal
dryness is only caused by an imbalance in your body or low
estrogen levels that come with age, breastfeeding, or illness.
It can also be caused by guilt, shame, even fear. These
feelings can lead to psychological problems such as low
sexual desire, anorgasmia (inability to be orgasmic), dyspareunia
(pain during intercourse), and depression—just to
name a few. Addressing these issues for yourself can resolve
your problem immediately. If you are too embarrassed to
speak to your partner or friends about any guilt or shame
that comes up, seek out a therapist or Sexologist in your
area. My book, Para La Mujer Sensual, is another
alternative which offers valuable information and addresses
many issues which prevent women from embracing their full
orgasmic potential. It also discusses the other issues
to enable you to derive more pleasure out of your sex life
and your relationships.
What can you do?
Now that you know what it is, how can you
get rid of it to enjoy yourself and derive more pleasure
from your love life? Amazingly enough there are several
measures and natural remedies that you can take immediately
which can relieve your symptoms significantly or eliminate
them all together.
Something as simple as increasing the amount
of water you drink daily can drastically increase your vaginal
lubrication and decrease or eliminate vaginal dryness altogether.
By drinking ten 8-oz glasses of water a day you re-hydrate
your body enabling it to produce the lubrication it needs
to make sex fun and exciting once more. Water isn’t
just for dieting anymore it’s for sexual health as
well.
Dieting is another remedy as well as a
culprit in vaginal dryness. Women need a balanced diet and
YES we need fat in our diets! A low fat high carbohydrate
diet is not the best diet formula for women and actually
deprives women of the nutrients her body needs to help produce
estrogen. If you do continue with such a diet regime, ask
your physician or nutritionist about high quality nutritional
supplements which can help your body obtain all the nutrients
it needs.
Hormone replacement therapy is another
treatment for vaginal dryness and your physician is the
best person to speak to about the risks involved. There
are also other natural alternatives which may be available
to you and have fewer side effects.
Exercise is an important factor in helping
to balance your body naturally and enable it to produce
sufficient lubrication at any age. I’m not suggesting
you run five miles a week or do two hours of aerobics daily,
but perhaps taking the stairs instead of the elevator when
going up a few flights. How about walking for 15-minutes
a day? Take your lover with you as this will give you some
time alone with him without constant interruptions and who
knows, you might just find a dark corner somewhere for a
little naughty fun. And remember, the more you exercise,
the more energy you have to be sexual.
Reducing your stress is paramount. Make
it part of your new year’s resolution to start taking
time for yourself. Start with as little as 15-minutes a
day and work your way up to one hour a day where you honor
yourself and your body. Whether that’s by taking a
bubble bath, having a manicure or pedicure, sitting on a
park bench and feeding the pigeons, or laying in the backyard
and watching the clouds float by, honor the fact that you
deserve to be taken care of as well. Amazingly, most women
can never “find the time to take care of herself since
she’s always putting her family and others first.
Thus, you have to “make the time” and selfishly
guard it. Selfish is not a bad word! Look at it this way,
if you don’t take care of yourself first, you won’t
have the energy to take care of others the way you’d
really like to—with love and energy.
Quickies & Pre-mature Penetration
No discussion on vaginal dryness is complete
without addressing Quickies and pre-mature penetration.
Though you may want to rip each other’s clothes off
and allow the wildness and passion to take over, you may
find that penetration is difficult or too painful to fully
enjoy that deliciously abandoned sexual play. In these instances,
ensure to use artificial lubrication. You don’t need
to carry a large bottle of lubricant with you; they make
individual packets that you can slip into your purse or
back pocket. I always carry my “good girl case”
with me wherever I go. My “good girl case” holds
a condom, a lubricant, and a piece of gum. Having your own
“good girl case” doesn’t mean you’re
looking for sex or that you’re a “puta”,
it merely affirms what you are—a mature woman who
takes care of herself—and yes, her lover as well.
Aside from Quickies, pre-mature penetration
is another cause of vaginal dryness. This occurs when you
are not sufficiently aroused prior to penetration. Never
suffer through this type of “forced” penetration!
Communicate your needs with your partner. A good lover wants
you to enjoy yourself just as much as he is. Thus, let him
know if you need more stimulation and where. Masters and
Johnson, the famous American sex researchers, noted that
though younger women can easily lubricate within seconds,
more mature women took up to five minutes or more to achieve
sufficient lubrication for penetration. Like fine wine,
older women take a little longer to ripen to their full
potential which gives them more time to enjoy those erotic
touches, those naughty words whispered into their ear, and
those long delicious kisses.
Lubricants
Lubricants are God’s gift to men
and women. Not only do they come in multiple flavors including
cherry, pina colada, chocolate, grape and banana but they
also come in different textures such as water-based and
silicone. Sugar based lubricants, like the flavored ones,
shouldn’t be used inside the vagina as they can cause
yeast infections. However, they are great fun to use on
the outside of the vulva (or penis) and then lick off during
oral sex.
For vaginal dryness, you’ll want
to use either the water-based or silicone lubricants during
penetrative intercourse. The silicone lubricate is thicker
and last longer making it great for prolonged thrusting.
The water-based lubricant works just as well, however, you
may need to reapply it if you’re engaging in prolonged
thrusting.
Massage oils, cooking oil, hand lotions,
and butter should never be used inside the vagina! Not only
does it alter the natural Ph balance of your vagina, it
can cause severe problems as well. Also, these lotions and
oils can cause an allergic reaction for both men and women.
Vaseline and baby oil should never be used in conjunction
with a condom as it breaks down the condom. And condoms
with Nonoxynol 9 should never be used as Nonoxynol 9 has
been found by the CDC (Center for Disease Control) to cause
severe allergic reactions in some women and microscopic
tears in the vagina making women more susceptible to sexually
transmitted infections.
Replens and Senselle are two types of vaginal
moisturizers available which help keep you moist throughout
the day. Though they provide moisture to the vagina, you
may still need to additional lubrication when engaging in
penetrative sex. Like taking care of your skin with moisturizers
and lotions, as women get older, they need to pay more attention
to their vaginal symptoms and if it gets dry, moisturize
it as well.
You’re mental and physical health
are important and so is your sexual health. Embrace all
of yourself to enable you to a health passionate live at
any age. As with any other issues regarding your physical
health, consult your primary care provider to ensure the
measures you’re considering are the right ones for
you.
Live with passion,
Dra. Charley Ferrer
Dra. Charley Ferrer is a Clinical Sexologist
and Life Coach who helps individuals and couples reclaim
their divine sexuality. She is the awarding winning author
of Para La Mujer Sensual, and The Latina
Kama Sutra (El Kama Sutra Latino: Guia para
Citas, Sexo y Placeres Eroticos). Contact her at ferrerinstitute@aol.com
or visit www.thelatinakamasutra.com for a copy of her
books.
